Change is the Only Guarantee
Traveling for the past year after selling off and giving away most everything we owned opened myself, my husband and our youngest son up to experiences and a sense of freedom unlike anything we could have expected. It was beautiful. It was wild. It was a little tiring at times living out of a suitcase. But, it changed us – all three of us.
Being The Writer’s Shaman and passionate about writing for change, experiencing change through our year-long gypsy lifestyle was a hidden gem uncovered as we decluttered our lives. Now, as we settle down in one place for the next year or so, I’m looking forward to what changes living in Texas will bring to us. Our country is in a state of flux and needs more powerful women leaders to step forward…and there is no doubt that Texas needs that, too.
Therefore, I feel I’ve been called to Fort Worth to create change not only from here, but by being here. I’ll be reaching more passionate women writers here, across the country and around the globe. But, as anyone who has experienced a big move to a new city knows there is a time of transition and adjustment. There is a period of learning the landscape, learning the local culture and beginning to embrace one’s new home, so that it becomes soothing and familiar.
“When we resist change, it’s called suffering. But when we can completely let go and not struggle against it, when we can embrace the groundlessness of our situation and relax into its dynamic quality, that’s called enlightenment, or awakening to our true nature, to our fundamental goodness. Another word for this is freedom—freedom from struggling against the fundamental ambiguity of being human.”
― Pema Chödrön,
How ready are you to accept change in your life? How willing are you to create change through writing or through reading another’s writing?
The time is now. Tomorrow will be different in one way or another. Don’t delay any longer. Even when you take a path you end up not liking as much as you thought you would, you have the power to change – yourself, your direction and on some levels the experience of others.
Creating more powerful women leaders with fierce passion and grace,
Janelle – The Writer’s Shaman for Passionate women writers on purpose…writing for change
You’re a Long Way From Where You Thought You’d Be
It’s okay. That’s the most important piece to understand -that it’s okay! But, now that you’re fully aware of being in a space that you didn’t expect and in this case, didn’t want at this point in your life it’s time to do something about it.
The question is are you ready to actually take action and make the changes you need, so you aren’t still in this same spot six months or a year from now?
Below: Excerpt from Soul Gap: Rediscovering the colors of your soul and fulfilling your life’s mission.
Instant Change or Life Long Learning?
“When you’re ready – really ready – for a shift in perspective and in life, the opportunities (the teachers) will begin appearing. Sometimes it will feel like an instant change, but if you take a 30,000 foot view, you’ll realize that the process is really all about life long learning.
Most people fear change. The basic belief is that humans, overall, tend to fear change. Yet, the only guarantee…the only permanent thing is change. Everything is impermanent. Sure, the ocean seems to constantly be there, but every single wave that crashes on the shore is different in one way or another. It’s a little bigger this time. It carries a handful of seashells next time. A baby sea turtle dives under the waves heading out to the sea grass. A surfer paddles out to catch the next big one. Seaweed washes up on shore. The next wave fills in the footprints you just left. They’re all different.
Why do you expect your life to stay the same? Why should it? Change can seem daunting. It’s a big deal. Wouldn’t it just be okay to shove your feelings of wanting more back down and keep living the status quo? I can’t speak for you, but for me that was and is a resounding ‘NO!'”
You had dreams. You had hopes. Where’d they go?
What was your dream? When you were a little girl what is that you dreamed of doing? Did you go after those dreams? Oftentimes well-meaning people in our lives derail us from achieving them or from trying in the first place. But, right now you’re feeling the call…again. Are you going to allow someone else to hold you back again or are YOU going to face the fear and create the change you crave?
Yes, you’ll experience unexpected changes -positive and negative-, but only you can decide if you want to stay in the same spot for the next six months, the next year or the next ten years. It’s really no one else’s choice. It is truly yours.
We DO Need Support
Making big changes in our lives can seem crazy to some of those around us, but we DO need support. I don’t care who you are…we all need it. But, that doesn’t mean you need to stay stuck in a place you don’t want to be -emotionally, mentally, physically or spiritually. Nope. We need support from those who understand and have been there.
That’s exactly why I do the work I do…because I know there are women who need MY support. Are you one of them?
There Is Hope and There Are Answers
Your first step is recognize your soul gap. If this post has hit home for you, then you’ve developed a soul gap (Soul Gap = Your soul’s mission – your active participation). So, if you’re ready to create a big shift and make a bigger difference in your life and perhaps the lives of others, then we need to talk.
Get on my calendar for a quick call to see if working together is a good fit for both of us. Just click here.
Janelle Alex – THE Women’s Shaman & Transpersonal Business Coach for Successful Women who feel the call to make a real difference in the world, but don’t know where to start.
How can your dark side make you more successful?
Are you constantly trying to fit in -be what or who someone else expects you to be?
Won’t they point and criticize you?
I’ve been there. After all, if you stand out -if you’re the tallest poppy, won’t you get cut down? Won’t people look at you and point at you and criticize you because you don’t fit into their box. You don’t fit into what they believe you should be or you don’t behave in the way they expect?
In the clip I share below, Tim Minchin sings about this perspective. I’m sharing his video clip because he’s frickin’ amazing. But, here’s the deal he didn’t fit into the music industry’s expectations. He didn’t fit into the box of what a pianist is supposed to be. Nor did he fit into what a comedian is supposed to be like.
Does he have a dark side?
Is he deep? Does he have a darkside? Hell yes! We all do for pity sakes, but Tim worked with his. In fact, he went far beyond just working with it. He knows his inner powers -his amazing strengths- and he’s ran with them to create an exceptionally successful career all while sharing his powerful perspectives.
If you’re impressed by Tim, find out more about him here: www.timminchin.com.
Don’t hide your dark side from others
When you succumb to hiding your dark side, your uniqueness, and your crazy f****d up ideas from others…well, you end up just being another wallflower. No one will notice you.
If you would prefer to just remain quiet, do your job, then go home and plop down watching a little TV or reading a book, then I’m not the right person to lift you up or kick you in the ass anyway 🙂
Your absolute truth
But, the absolute truth is that you’re here because you want to make a difference in the world, you want to have a bigger impact, you want more influence – right? You’re here because you’ve been feeling the call. You know it’s your time.
A part of me feels like I can’t express this idea any better than Tim’s Dark Side performance. On the other hand, there are always numerous ways to express our views. Music is huge to me -after all I was a dancer and taught dance for a big portion of my life. That’s why I chose to use this example to get you to stop and think about not being like everyone else. To encourage you to stop giving in to other’s expectations of what you should do.
Music and artists can reach into your soul
Music and artists can reach into your soul and touch pieces you may not have been able to touch yourself. In fact, one of my favorite exercises I teach when working with clients on bridging their “soul gap” is having them create a musical autobiography and then go deeper with it.
Your mini-exercise today: Go listen to your favorite artists and really listen to the lyrics. Listen to your heart and listen to your soul. What do you feel? What lyrics stand out to you? What emotions are you feeling?
Oh, first, watch the video above of Tim playing the Dark Side. It’s deep, funny, and mind-blowing amazing piano playing!
Recognize your dark side…and be bold enough to show it
Back to the overall point of today’s post…recognize your dark side. Embrace it in a way that works best for you. Be brave enough to show your uniqueness. Be bold enough to stand told and shout your message -in your style- from the rooftops.
Note – Tim sings near the end around the 12:20 mark: “F***ing I can have a dark side too. F****ing woo!” I love this!
Your own personal crazy
When you know your own personal crazy, you know your own strengths and you learn how to use those strengths (your inner powers) in a way that inspires you and brings you the attention you want and need to make a real difference in the world, then you know how your dark side can make you more successful!
Janelle Alex – Transpersonal Business Coach & Shaman for Successful Women who feel the call to make a real difference in the world, but don’t know where to start.
You’re a Butterfly That Can’t Spread Her Wings
Your rebel soul is tired of just existing, of just getting by. You’re a butterfly that feels like she can’t fully spread her wings and show off all her gorgeous colors. There is no doubt that discovering or perhaps, rediscovering what your soul is calling you to do is vital if you want to truly live from a place of happiness and joy. You make it through every day. Your body gets fed…sometimes with a little too much food or maybe even a little too much wine, but is your mind being fed? Is your soul being fed?
You’ve done what you thought you were supposed to do. The expectations of others, as well as the expectations you placed on yourself, have brought about the life you now lead, but when you hit the breaking point and just can’t take the endless feeling of emptiness inside, you have to admit that there must be a big gap between what your soul’s intention in this life is and what you are actually doing. This what I call the soul gap™.
Soul Gap™ =
your soul’s mission – your active participation
Initially, the gap may not seem so bad. You get by. You talk yourself into believing it’s all okay. Well-meaning friends, family, and even some coaches, teachers, mentors, tell you that it’ll all be okay if you just meditate a few minutes every day. They tell you that you just need to start a gratitude journal or make a dream board. If you just practice a little self-care, you’ll be fine. Right?
None of that works…
Come on! We know that none of that works if you’re truly in the middle of “Oh my god, what is the point of my life?! Seriously, I know there’s something more…something else I’m supposed to be doing!”
It changed my life, but it wasn’t a one time deal
Now, don’t get me wrong. Meditation, shamanic journeying, gratitude journals, dream boards, affirmations, reading and absorbing personal growth books like a crazed librarian jacked-up on coffee are actually great things to do. I practice meditation. I do a “Janelle” version of a shamanic journey weekly without fail. I suck at gratitude journals (ack!), but I’ve created dream boards, moon boards, read and studied tons of personal growth books. I’ve invested over $20,000 in coaches and mentors, and my entire graduate education was in transpersonal and spiritual psychology…so another $100,000+ invested. And, yes my transpersonal studies changed my life. In fact, I give credit to my grad school mentor more than anyone else, but it wasn’t just one thing or a one time deal.
The 180 degree turn
It took years of personal growth work or…did it? In all honesty, it happened instantly. I knew that moment in my dance studio that I had hit the wall. Then, when I was finally doing the work on myself, I made a 180 degree turn. One exercise completely shifted how I looked at myself and my family in an instant. Let me share that exercise with you now…
A Life Shift
I was working on an assignment in my master’s degree program at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology in California. Papers were spread out all over my desk, the floor and on top of the filing cabinet. Even though I agree that we need to declutter for energy to flow better, when the message is powerful enough it’ll break through the mess, the clutter, the chaos…nothing will stop it. It’s okay. I promise you don’t have to be in a perfect space or a perfect state of mind to experience a shift. I reiterate that it helps, but it’s only one piece of the puzzle.
That one exercise changed my life
The exercise I was working on required that I think of myself as a little girl. I was to imagine being upset by something – a particular incident if I felt secure enough emotionally to go there. Then, I was to imagine my adult self comforting my child self through the situation.
As my adult self wrapped its arms around my imagined version of my child self and let her know she was loved and that I had compassion for her, I broke down and started sobbing. In that instant, I finally learned how to love myself and have compassion for ME. I had always been so hard on myself. But, finally I knew it was okay to just be me!
With or without your parents’ love
It doesn’t matter if your parents love you more than anything – mine did and still do. It doesn’t matter if you had great friends and amazing teachers. None of that can truly make you love yourself. That has to come from within. And, one exercise can’t necessarily make the difference either. It’s just that the timing was right and I implemented what was given to me. I’m sure you’ve heard it said many times over, but when the student is ready the teacher appears.
Answer the Call of Your Soul Assessment
Schedule a 20-30 minute call with me – it’s totally complimentary. I’ll help you discover what your soul is calling you to do right now.
If we’re a good fit for one another and you feel compelled to take the next steps needed to Answer the Call of Your Soul, I’ll offer to talk with you about how we can work together.
Janelle Alex – Transpersonal Business Coach & Shaman for Women who feel the call to make a real difference in the world, but don’t know where to start.
The Daily Grind – 3 of 3
Recap: Day in and day out, it’s the same old thing – the daily grind. You trudge to work or you search for new clients or you do another load of laundry or you rush home before the kids get off the bus or maybe, just maybe, you sit at the computer for hours hunting desperately for what it is you’re supposed to be doing in the world. Which scenario below do you recognize yourself in?
Scenario Number Three…
Kids are grown and out of the house
Your kids are grown and out of the house. You have a full calendar filled with amazing clients. You have a good relationship. Your finances are in good shape. You’re healthy. You get to travel a couple of times a year. You should be totally happy – right?
Why do you keep feeling lost?
So, why do you keep feeling lost? Feeling like there is something you’re missing? Feeling like you’re supposed to be doing something bigger? You look in the mirror and ask, “Crap! Who am I? I mean really. Who is the person looking back at me? I know her, but I don’t. Have I really lost myself?”
Are you running in place and running out of time?
At this point in your life, you suddenly feel like you’re overlooking something. You want to do something crazy – something for yourself, but something that makes a big difference in the world. You want to feel full of life again. You have a deep desire to set your soul free, but you feel like you’re running in place and running out of time!
Which one is you?
Which scenario from these last three weeks did you connect with the most? One of them? More than one? A mix? It’s time to discover your soul gap, dear one!
Janelle Alex – Transpersonal Business Coach & Shaman for women who want to make a real difference in the world, but don’t know where to start.
The Daily Grind – 2 of 3
Recap: Day in and day out, it’s the same old thing. You trudge to work or you search for new clients or you do another load of laundry or you rush home before the kids get off the bus or maybe, just maybe, you sit at the computer for hours hunting desperately for what it is you’re supposed to be doing in the world. Which scenario below do you recognize yourself in?
Scenario Number Two…
You wake up late
You wake up late. Rush out the door only to discover traffic is a worse nightmare today than it usually is. So, there is no hope of making it to work on time. Your boss is gonna be pissed. God, he is such an angry person!
Only 10% battery power
You try to turn on some great music to jam to while being stuck on the freeway, but your phone is only at 10% battery power…and your charger is tucked in your purse, which is tossed on the passenger side floorboard. So, you try the radio…no luck. You just get tons of political news – OMG! What’s Trump done this time? and a bunch of other negative news.
Weekend plans? Nope…gotta work to avoid being fired
Your sweetheart texts you. (You’re at a complete stop with the car in park in this traffic, so you read it.) Well, there go your weekend getaway plans…your sweetie has to work all weekend on a big project or risk being fired. You soooo needed the time away.
Traffic is moving, but you still feel stuck
You draw a long breath. Traffic starts to move, but you still feel stuck. It’s like you’re stuck in a cycle, but you know there has to be more to life than this.
Janelle Alex – Writing Coach for wild women who want to make a real difference in the world, but don’t know where to start.
The Daily Grind – 1 of 3
Day in and day out, it’s the same old thing. You trudge to work or you search for new clients or you do another load of laundry or you rush home before the kids get off the bus or maybe, just maybe, you sit at the computer for hours hunting desperately for what it is you’re supposed to be doing in the world. Which scenario below do you recognize yourself in?
Scenario Number One…
Then, you remember it’s a weekday.
It’s another day. You wake up to the blare of your alarm clock. You stretch, yawn and pull the covers back over your head. Then, you remember it’s a weekday.
No long hot shower for you
Next minute you’re rushing here and there to get everything done that everyone else needs from you. A nice long hot shower is very likely not in the cards for you. Instead, it’s a quick jump in, get washed and get out.
Everybody wants something from you
Before you can get clothes on or dry your hair, the dog wants out, the kids are asking where they left their books for history and science class, your sexy (OMG he left the dresser drawers open again) partner is yelling up the stairs asking where his phone is, and your mother is texting to ask how to log-in to Facebook, again!
And, the dog…oh no!
Ack, you just told her how yesterday. The kids books are in their backpacks like always. Your partner’s phone is on the bedside table…like every morning. And, the dog…oh no! Poor girl, she couldn’t wait any longer. Why couldn’t someone else take her out?! Now, you have an extra mess to clean up before you can get everyone out of the house and get to work.
Janelle Alex – Transpersonal Business Coach & Shaman for wild women who want to make a real difference in the world, but don’t know where to start.
Bridging the Gap
Stopping on the razor’s edge of my soul gap may have happened in an instant, but understanding it and figuring out how to build a bridge over the gap didn’t happen over night. For me, it took well over a decade!
Trial and Error
A lot of trial and error. A lot of tears and meltdowns. A lot of friends and family falling away. A lot of new friendships being developed. It took opening to a much deeper connection to my spirituality, my personal spiritual practices and my spirit guides. It took me learning how to have self-compassion and love for ME.
Gifts, knowledge and struggles
After all these years, I know without a doubt that my gifts, my knowledge, my struggles and my success are all meant to be shared with others, so they – so YOU – don’t have to wait as long as I did. And, you don’t have to do it alone!
So, here I am…finally. I’m not about to leave you behind. Raise your hands in the air and let me see you. I’m right here…looking for you.
Janelle Alex – Transpersonal Business Coach & Shaman for wild women who want to make a real difference in the world, but don’t know where to start.